Council News

350 space Multi Storey Car Park for Hedon

DETAILS of a major groundbreaking car parking development in the centre of Hedon have been released this morning. The Barking Associates Group (BAG) has disclosed plans to erect a 350 space Multi Storey Car Park in the Distaff Lane area of Hedon opposite the town’s Market Place.

Situated between the HSBC Bank and the Nutmegs Café, the proposed development will require demolition of the Post Office. They will be invited to move into the Hedon Town Hall until accommodation is provided on the Observation Deck of the Distaff Development.

The BAG press statement issued today says: “The Observation Deck of the new solution to Hedon’s car parking problems will give uninterrupted and beautiful views across the South Holderness skyline and will be home to a number of commercial outlets, including a Chiropody Salon managed by a local Hedon entrepreneur, a Coffee Lounge and a Juice Bar, all providing free Wi-Fi.”

Artist impression Distaff

Artist impression BAG Distaff Development

“Security at the six-storey car park will be enhanced by the latest technological surveillance equipment and constantly monitored by The Drone Flying Club of Hedon from their base, which is also to be situated on the top Observation Deck, luckily, their continuous activities will have a two-fold effect, the main benefit being that the nearby pigeons from St Augustine’s Church will not settle and foul the Armoured Glass Observation Roof Panels.”

“A highly efficient ‘Drive On’ computerised elevator will transport vehicles up to the nearest floor having parking space available, it WILL NOT proceed further until all those spaces are filled, Passengers will then have the option to proceed up or down using the internal Pedestrian elevator provided.”

“Vehicles will be able to exit from all floors to the rear of the building to join Distaff Lane, (which will be improved) and exit either left or right on reaching the top of the slight hill. Delivery vehicle access will be available to the rear of The Co-op store through the entrance at the front right of the building (which is unfortunately obscured by the trees in our artist’s impression).

“Hourly Parking charges will be expected to commiserate with the in-house facilities available, but as yet are unfixed on account the project being funded by European Regional Growth Fund and is dependent on the UK retaining membership of the European Union.

“The Hedon One Way System will be untouched, but Street Parking will be discontinued for the Whole Length of St Augustine’s Gate, apart for the use by Disabled Drivers and Delivery Vehicles, at authorised times of the day.

“Car Parking facilities will be discontinued in the Market Place (except on Market Days) thus eliminating accidents with pedestrians on Footpaths.”

We contacted one leading Councillor who we woke up from his bed this morning. He remarked that “I Know Nowt About It” and was very uncomplimentary about BAG – and about being woken up.

The improved facilities will solve the town’s major parking crisis and if planning permission is approved, the 350 space Multi Storey Car Park will be expected to begin construction in January 2017 with its opening scheduled in 12 months time on the First of April 2017.

Correspondent: Anti-incinerator and Anti-BAG campaigner, Jim Uney.

See Barking Associates Group for more information.

10 replies »

  1. Hope this is an April fools joke as it is the most unrealistic and potentially damaging idea for Hedon ever. If it’s true then it will devastate a beautiful town which I love and grew up in and no one will vote for it.


  2. This is the worst idea I have ever heard. It will destroy Hedon in looks and character. Parking is not that bad we have 4 carpark. People just won’t walk anymore.please please do not let this happen. It will destroy nutmegs cafe and the historic buildings around. People must be mad. I certainly am. Beggars belief.


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